In the first teaching encounter we discovered what sexual urge entails and six (6) ways the devil wants us to satisfy our sexual urges. That’s through fornication, pornography, masturbation, lesbianism, homosexuality and bestiality.
Today we will consider three (3) spiritual aids to handling your sexual urges before marriage and four (4) physical aids to handling your sexual urges before marriage.
Before that. Permit me to establish these foundational truths.
1. God knows we have everything within our power to overcome and have mastery over our sexual urges. He knows we are better placed to reject the devil’s offer of dead works by satisfying our sexual urges with things that contradicts His word. God should be proud of us then!
2. It’s the devil’s cunning strategy to make the right thing the wrong thing at the wrong time for the wrong reasons. For instance, the devil can make sex, which is a right thing in God’s perspective in the context of marriage, become the wrong thing at a wrong time for the wrong reason. That’s where fornication for instance comes into play. That’s why the devil tries to substitute other things which looks like sex or way of satisfying one’s sexual feelings but in order words contradicts scripture. Hence, the devil is an expert in creating errors.
Permit me to establish the truth that there are gates or entrances that make way for sexual urges and therefore these gates must be carefully looked at if we can handle our sexual urges. There are two primary ways by which a thief can enter into your room.
1. Through your main door.
2. Your window.
Every physical thing has it’s spiritual equivalent. Also, there are three ways by which sexual urges can be awaken and satisfied in us. Let’s note these three gates.
1. The gate of our mind – Your mind is a gate. Every sexual urge starts as a small idea. Fornication starts as a small idea. When that idea becomes a formidable root in your mind, it becomes a harvest. That’s why you don’t have to make your mind a trash can to harbour sexually suggestive thoughts. The Bible says in Romans 12:1-2.”…..be transformed by the renewing of ur mind”. So there is a transformation of life that comes as a result of renewing the mind.
Spirituality is not against reasoning. God gave us our mind to win not to lose. So if you don’t use your mind, the devil will use it for you. Your mind can be a gate through which sexual thoughts can enter and be awakened in you. However, you have the power to deal with those thoughts.
2. The gate of our eyes – Your physical eyes is gate. In Psalm 119:37. David said, “Make my eyes pass on from seeing what is worthless”. So when you watch porn, you are making way for the devil to manipulate you through the gates of your eyes. That’s why as a Believer it’s not every movie or music video you must watch. Some of the video or adverts on television are sexually stimulating. Read how the devil tempted Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden.
Gen 3:6 – So when *the woman saw that the tree was good for food*, that it was pleasant to the *eyes*, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate.
3. Ears – If faith comes by hearing, guess what the devil can use your ears (or what you listen to) to achieve since he is an expert in creating errors. You must guard your ears jealously as well. God help you.
Let’s quickly look at three (3) spiritual ways we can handle our sexual urges before marriage. These ways are nothing new to us but we have to revisit it again or repeat it for the purpose of emphasis and learning. Repetition of what you have heard before is important.
1. The Word – To handle your sexual urges before marriage, you must first handle the word of God without deceit. Our search for God’s truths must be based on the realities revealed in the Holy Scriptures and not upon fantasies born out of imagination. God’s word presents us with one of the surest ways to handle sexual urges before marriage. Check out the following scriptures.
Psalm 119:9
“How can a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed according to Your word”
Psalm 119:11 also says, “Your word I have hidden in my heart, That I might not sin against You.”
2. Prayer – In Matt 26:24, the Bible says we should watch and pray so we don’t fall in temptation. Prayer is everything. It is the expression of our faith in God. Prayer helps us to be sensitive to God and helps us to overcome the desires of the flesh. Instead of fornicating, choose prayer. Instead of watching porn, choose prayer. May God help us all.
3. The sweet influence of the Holy Spirit – The Holy Spirit is our helper. There is a real weakness in you if it becomes seemingly impossible to have control over what you want to satisfy your sexual urges with. The Holy Spirit is a Spirit of self-control. The Holy Spirit is there to help. Let’s learn to fellowship with Him. He is there to lead us into all truth.
Four (4) Physical Ways to Handle your Sexual Urges
These steps will be of help especially to those in relationship. Besides, these are general steps.
1. Avoid sleeping on the same bed with the opposite sex especially someone you have a crush on or you are dating. You are not a fire wood. You may say there is nothing wrong with it but my brother and sister, I told you earlier that fornication starts as a small thought. Don’t make way for the devil to trap you.
2. Avoid secret relationship. There are people who wants to keep their relationship secret from their parents, pastors etc for reasons best known to them. I believe in every relationship you need a mentor someone you can look up to, to offer the best advice and give you wise instructions of how to handle conflicts and even your sexual urges.
3. Avoid untimely relationship. It cannot be gainsaid that most of the relationships that started from J.H.S or even S.H.S did not survive the test of time. Many of these relationships even ended in sex. If you have no plans of Marriage in the next one year or two. It’s better to stay away. It does not however suggest that a relationship with the objective of marriage in a year time or two does not end up in sex, but it’s better to stay way when you are not ready for marriage. “When the purpose of a thing is unknown, abuse is inevitable”, said Dr. Myles Munroe.
4. Plan your day – As young man/ woman you must be in pursuit of a dream. You can’t put your life on autopilot. You must deliberately craft your day. You can’t spend your whole day on social media watching videos, checking people’s status, answering phone calls etc. You must be engaged with your vision. Don’t be idle. Work hard and achieve results. God helps us all.
I want to pause here. We will continue another time. God richly bless you. Shalom – Peace
Reuben Noye Adumuah (AdReuben)
Speaker at the Sex Conference