We do not often understand those who chastise and rebuke us on our sexual life. No matter who they are, be they our parents, friends or pastors, we usually oppose them outwardly or silently inward because we cannot understand.
We don’t understand why something so enjoying could be considered wrong and sinful. But more so, our battle with them is that they do not understand that sex is a hunger in us. And as they hurl the insults, we wish we could take their advice, but some of us seem just too hungry to do so. When you are hungry, you find food to eat. When you feel for sex, what do you do?
Sex is a natural urge in us, given by God. The Bible says God blessed the first couple to multiply and fill the earth. This means He blessed their marriage with sex. So sex is a blessing. But God didn’t teach Adam and Eve to have sex. He wired it into their system to feel for each other and instinctively know how to get intimate. Their intimate time would produce a child. And as they enjoyed sex the more, more children would be produced to fill the earth.
The instruction God gave them was to be fruitful, but the seed of sexual desire was already part of their design. He encoded an instruction within them to feel for sexual pleasure. God’s instruction to them was “multiply and fill the earth”, but He blessed them with a sweet process and made them naturally desire it. God doesn’t ask of us what He hasn’t already given to us.
Also, in Genesis 3:18, God spoke to the woman about sexual desire. He said, her sexual desire was so strong that even labour pains won’t discourage her from passionately wanting her husband. This teaches us that God created the sexual urge in us, and He also intentionally made it strong.
But this sexual urge begins to mature as we grow. We see that in 1 Cor. 7:36. Paul calls it “flower age”. It is the age where the sexual instruction buried in us begins to seek obedience. We also see in Ezekiel 16:8, that this period is called the “time of love” (KJV).
Truly, sex is in our veins. Yet God’s word still says emphatically that sexual immorality is a sin, not just against God but our very own bodies (1 Cor. 6:18). Our discussion today will involve this question.
Since God is the one who gave us the feeling for sexual intimacy, why does His own word forbid us from enjoying sex outside marriage?
If God doesn’t ask from us what He hasn’t already given to us, and He told the first couple to “be fruitful and multiply” because He already gave them a desire for sex with each other; then He is only asking us to wait until marriage because He has given us what it takes. Can we therefore actually exercise self-control? If Yes, how? If No, why?
Written for the Sex Conference
Pious D. Serwonu.