We started learning from John 3:16 few days ago. In the introduction, I pointed out that God so loved the world and desires that we love indeed. God hasn’t called us to love casually but passionately. We then looked at one way to love greatly which is sacrificial giving. Today, I like us to see Special Treatment.
Special Treatment is indeed a way to love your beloved greatly. You don’t treat all people equally unless they are all equal. But if someone is special to you, you treat them as such. You give them privileges none else has. You give them parts of you that no one experiences. If she is special, then you will treat her specially. If you treat him the same way you treat any other person, then what makes him special? Tell me.
God is our example in this. The Bible shows us how He causes rain to fall on both the righteous and the wicked. God has a general love for everyone in the world. But God treats those who accept to be in relationship with Him differently. He gives them a special treatment. He chose Israel for his own and showed His special love to them by how He treated them. He was ready to dispossess and scatter nations for their sake. He is the Creator of the whole world, but He focused special love on just a small part of it, a nation called Israel.
Others died that you might live. I traded their lives for yours because you are precious to me. You are honored, and I love you. (Isaiah 43:4, NLT)
Abraham was just a man like any other. The only difference was that God chose him and decided to love him in a special way. And He and Abraham came into a relationship. We see how God gave him special treatment. When Abraham had told a lie out of fear that his wife was a sister, God threatened the innocent king Abimelech who wanted to take (have sex with and I presume later marry) “sister Sarah”. God caused all wombs in his house to go barren – just for attempting to touch Sarah. (Genesis 20) Abraham lied, but God’s special love was in his defense. Special Treatment is the essence of love. The Bible commands us to love everyone. We don’t propose to everyone in order to obey that commandment. But we propose to our beloveds or spouses. This means there should be something special about the way we love them. If you love him or her the same way you love anyone, then what was the proposal for?
When the Bible commands husbands to love their wives, that’s a separate command from loving your neighbor or your brethren. Your wife is your sister in the Lord. The Bible says we should love each other, so that’s there. That’s love for every Christian brother or sister, every church member. But Paul then goes on to say specifically, “Husbands, Love your wives.” That is no more the brotherly sisterly love for everyone. It’s special love for a special person. It’s special treatment.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25, ESV)
Christ died for the world. God loves the whole human race. But God isn’t living in everyone of us. And Christ isn’t washing each person. The Holy Spirit dwells in believers alone. And Christ is continually washing only the Church, His Beloved Bride. The most loving God still has special treatment for His own. Christ the epitome of great love takes time to treat His bride specially. So man of God, you can’t claim to love the Church so much that you don’t have special time for your wife. You can’t claim to love ministry so much that your wife doesn’t see any different or special love towards her. You can’t treat your wife like any other church member or Christian brother or sister. Special Treatment is for special people.
It is important to know that courtship or marriage especially requires a special manner of love. With wives, God’s word already commands us to submit one to another (1 Peter 5:5). But there is also a special commandment saying, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” That is special submission. If the submission you give to your husband is the general level of submission you hold for your boss at work, your pastor, spiritual fathers or colleagues, you miss the point. What’s special about your husband then? The Word of God says, apart from our general level of submission to each other, submit yourself in a special way to your own husband. That’s why the emphasis is there – your own husband. Not another’s!
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. (Ephesians 5:22, ESV)
Remember courtship or marriage is a commitment to a particular manner of love. And whereas the Agape love in us is to be expressed to everyone, there are peculiar levels and manners of expression that are for your spouse. The Bible says, He who has friends must show himself friendly (Prov. 18:24). Similarly, He who has a spouse must show himself or herself as a spouse.
Tell me, you whom my soul loves, where you pasture your flock, where you make it lie down at noon; for why should I be like one who veils herself beside the flocks of your companions? (Song of Solomon 1:7, ESV)
The beloved in Solomon’s love song desired a special treatment. She didn’t want to be like just another woman hanging around Solomon. She wanted specific special information that would distinguish her from others. Learn to show greater love through special treatment. Again we will share more specific ways to love greatly here. Our relationship and marriages will be more glorious.
#pds
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Pious D. Serwonu