My name is PDS, and I am wired for sex. Yesterday, I said I love sex and some folks were shocked. Like seriously? How could I? A man of God? Plus, an unmarried one?
Yes! I love sex and I was wired for it. I am still a man of God. Sex is in the design of man because Jesus said, some are eunuchs from birth. If some are sexually inactive by birth, then those who are sexually active are because they were born with the desire. It was God that created the sexual urge in us.
For there are different reasons why men do not marry — some because they were born without the desire, some because they have been castrated, and some because they have renounced marriage for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. Whoever can grasp this, let him do so. (Matt 19:12, CJB)
And God blessed them and told them, “Multiply and fill the earth and subdue it; you are masters of the fish and birds and all the animals. (Gen 1:28, TLB)
The Bible says that God blessed the first couple and said, “Multiply and fill the earth.” Literally, this means, have sex. God blessed the first marriage with sex. So sex is a divine blessing every believer must claim in the context of marriage. It is a blessing because it is healthy for the soul and the body. He wouldn’t tell them to have sex unless He had made them to be sexually active. It is clear therefore that God created them to be sexually active.
And he said to the woman, “I will increase your trouble in pregnancy and your pain in giving birth. In spite of this, you will still have desire for your husband, yet you will be subject to him.” (Gen 3:16, TEV)
Again, in Genesis 3:16, God spoke of sexual desire. He said despite her labor pains, the woman will not cease to sexually crave for her husband. This means that God had already wired the woman (likewise the man) to have strong sexual urge. It is within us by God’s wise design.
THEREFORE FLEE
This is why nobody has to tell you to erect before you do. And no one teaches you to feel wet with sexual craving. It is in your system. God didn’t show Adam and Eve how to have sex. He simply built the sex instruction into their system, and gave them to each other. As the days went by, deep called unto deep, and they began to fulfill their divine mandate of multiplying to fill the earth through the blessed gift of sex. Sex was part of their design. So without any detailed lectures from God, they didn’t only feel for sex but instinctively knew how to have sex.
It was coded into them. In fact, as early as Genesis 3, this freshest couple were sexually attracted to each other until chapter 4:1, where it is written that they actually made love. So if we think not teaching children about sex will make them chaste, we are late. It is already in them to want sex as they grow older. As long as they are in the flesh and battling the carnal nature, the temptation to try is surer. Plus, this sex “contaminated” world we live in? Church, we are late if we think silence will save our children.
The reason you are sexually awoken every now and then is that sex is an instruction wired into your system to surge and seek satisfaction especially when gotten into a certain atmosphere. This is why the way to avoid sexual immorality is to flee. It is because God has created you to have sex under certain conditions. And if those conditions come to play outside your matrimonial bed, you will still have sex.
That is why a pastor can have sex with his members if he’s not careful. It is why several “spiritual” people are brought low. They fail to understand that sex is an instruction in our makeup. We are always ready to have sex, whether we are married or not, man or woman, as long as we are physically matured. It is in our nature. Just entertain that atmosphere and see. You will be doing it in the next second. This is because sex is instructive and intrinsically embedded into you.
Lot had sex with his own daughters under the influence of alcohol. This is because a man is designed to erect and ejaculate under certain conditions which the daughters knew. So they put their father into that atmosphere, and he ejaculated and had sex with his own daughters. Sex is inside you. It will pop out under certain conditions. And if you entertain those conditions, you will be compelled from within to have sex. Beware. The safest way is to avoid any atmosphere that strongly turns you on. It’s called fleeing.
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. (1 Cor 6:18, NIV)
ALWAYS READY FOR SEX
Because sex is wired into us naturally, husband and wife can always be ready to satisfy each other’s craving. It is because of this basic truth about our original sexual nature that Paul admonished that couples satisfy and not deny sex from each other. He says that the man owns the woman’s body and the woman the man’s. He actually believes that a person can be always ready for sex and should lovingly give it to his or her partner. Of course, there are physical states in which it will be wise not to even demand sex. And there is the possibility of consenting not to have sex for some time in order to fast. But because sex is in our very design, we can always be available for sex. The Word says, “Do not deprive each other”. It means it is within reach of our will to be ready every time or at least become ready when our spouses desire for us.
The husband should give his wife what she is entitled to in the marriage relationship, and the wife should do the same for her husband. The wife is not in charge of her own body, but her husband is; likewise, the husband is not in charge of his own body, but his wife is. Do not deprive each other, except for a limited time, by mutual agreement, and then only so as to have extra time for prayer; but afterwards, come together again. Otherwise, because of your lack of self-control, you may succumb to the Adversary’s temptation. (1 Cor 7:3-5, CJB)
Usually, when people say, “I am not in the mood”; they are forgetting or are unaware of the fact that God created us to be sex ready at any time. The sex is not in heaven that you should ask “who will go up for it?” Neither is it under the earth to dig for. That strong passion for sex is right in you, even in that moment. So instead of simply assuming that because one isn’t in the mood, s/he isn’t ready for sex, a more loving way is to simply surrender and avail yourself, and then help the process so you can be aroused. A wiser move is for the other spouse to also arouse the former and turn them on. You don’t just take what you want. No! Love is more interested in giving. Be more loving by bringing them to a place where they can also enjoy. Do that through romance. Do that by regulating the atmosphere in your bedroom. Turn on certain things in there. And let love making begin slowly as you both build up into that glorious climax. I promise you, she who relented will ask for more. He who was down will seek to be on top now. Thank me later.
#SexInTheLight
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Pious D. Serwonu