QUESTION: Are we indeed only responsible for what we say and not how people understand us?
It takes two to communicate (unless you are texting yourself in WhatsApp). 😃 A miscommunication may be blamed on the sender, the receiver or both. However, the party who starts the communication process must be more concerned. Shouldn’t that be the case? Even if talking to me, alerting, teaching, commending, instructing, correcting, or rebuking me is a favor towards me; if the process of communication originates with you, the commitment must be greater on your side. A lot more depends on the sender because s/he is the originator of the process. Secondly, s/he is the one who knows what they want to say. Thirdly, they are responsible for putting their thoughts into understandable words, gestures, images, actions or symbols. Their encoding (or codes) become the only access observers (the receivers) have to their mind. If the codes are misleading, their thoughts will be misread. That miscommunication can be justifiably blamed on them.
So there may be shared responsibility in communication, but the balance tips if you think about it. Speakers have the responsibility of making sense, first. Then, listeners must be sure to listen well and decipher what has been said. Again, it is therefore unreasonable to speak and claim not to care about the meaning you have sent across.
After escaping death at the hands of Jews in Jerusalem, Paul still begged the commander who came to his rescue that he wanted to speak to them. As soon as he could, Paul the Apostle seized the opportunity to communicate to the very crowd that wanted him dead. This is the level of determination I desire: to preach life at the brink of death. Enjoy the passage from the Bible below. It’s sweeter than my commentary.
Acts of the Apostles 21:30-40 NLT
“[30] The whole city was rocked by these accusations, and a great riot followed. Paul was grabbed and dragged out of the Temple, and immediately the gates were closed behind him. [31] As they were trying to kill him, word reached the commander of the Roman regiment that all Jerusalem was in an uproar. [32] He immediately called out his soldiers and officers and ran down among the crowd. When the mob saw the commander and the troops coming, they stopped beating Paul. [33] Then the commander arrested him and ordered him bound with two chains. He asked the crowd who he was and what he had done. [34] Some shouted one thing and some another. Since he couldn’t find out the truth in all the uproar and confusion, he ordered that Paul be taken to the fortress. [35] As Paul reached the stairs, the mob grew so violent the soldiers had to lift him to their shoulders to protect him. [36] And the crowd followed behind, shouting, “Kill him, kill him!” [37] As Paul was about to be taken inside, he said to the commander, “May I have a word with you?” “Do you know Greek?” the commander asked, surprised. [38] “Aren’t you the Egyptian who led a rebellion some time ago and took 4,000 members of the Assassins out into the desert?” [39] “No,” Paul replied, “I am a Jew and a citizen of Tarsus in Cilicia, which is an important city. PLEASE, LET ME TALK TO THESE PEOPLE.” [40] The commander agreed, so Paul stood on the stairs and motioned to the people to be quiet. Soon a deep silence enveloped the crowd, and he addressed them in their own language, Aramaic.”
Just like Apostle Paul spoke Greek and Aramaic depending on his audience, communication is done in the interest of the audience. But the key lesson we want to pick from Apostle Paul is his determination to communicate even amidst the noise in the physical, emotional and psychological noise in the atmosphere. (We will understand these “noise” better subsequently). The atmosphere was so charged but the message was too important to wait. Rescued from the claws of death, Paul stands on the brink and sermonizes the mob. As darkness calls for light, death called for life. Just when he found his breathe, the Apostle went back to preaching. Similarly, there may be hindrances to our communication of God’s word, but those of us on the sending side (as messengers) must care and show responsibility despite all difficulties.
Oh, that we offer every breathe to live and preach the God-breathed words. The LORD help us in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Whereas this message is targeted at communication related to the preaching of God’s word, the principle is very helpful for communications in our relationships. We must be responsible communicators. It takes two, but it starts with you. Praise the Lord!!
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