BACKGROUND: A preacher faced backlash for making heretical statements. In his defense, he claims that he is responsible for what he said and not how people understand it.
QUESTION: Are we indeed only responsible for what we said and not how people understand us?
Today’s question will be answered from the Biblical and Communications points of view. I hope to answer satisfactorily by explaining what I think people mean by the statement, first. Then, we look at the veracity of the claim.
When people make a statement as the one we are dealing with today, they are often dissociating themselves from what they consider a misinterpretation of their words. Therefore, a better statement in that case may read thus; “I am responsible for what I said, and not your misunderstanding of it.”
[Certainly, you have a responsibility to make people understand if you care to speak to them. Let’s be fair here.]
Other times, those who make such a statement are simply being irresponsible after confusing or misleading their listeners with bad or poor communication. It may also be a caveat to help speakers shift goalposts when it suits them. It’s actually abusive. It’s gaslighting. You say one thing, we question you, and then you say I didn’t mean that. Meanwhile, that’s what you said. That’s the game some people play with the above statement. It is abusive, manipulative and disrespectful of the listeners’ intelligence. People are not free to twist our words but we are also not free to change the meaning of clear words that we spoke in a context. It is irresponsible and chickenhearted to do so. We show more courage by owning up to our mistakes than by hiding from them in this dishonest manner.
Because of the diversity of people who may use the statement, it is important to deal with it in a balanced manner. I hope to do that with the help of God in great clarity.
My simple answer would be that a speaker is responsible for how he is understood or misunderstood to the extent that the understanding is drawn from his words and/or actions. Can we break this down in the next couple of days?
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We shared a brief answer to this question earlier and that can be found at this link: https://www.facebook.com/share/p/GPD6VfUDK25yppJD/?mibextid=xfxF2i
> Next: #responsibilitiesincommunication2
• Brief: #responsibilitiesincommunication
